What I Fear

I wanna note that I’m not someone who’s very skittish or paranoid. Obviously, I watch scary movies and write things that err on the side of uncomfortable. I love those ‘fright fests’ during Halloween, I’ve read and watched most horror cult classics, and I definitely know I seem crazy with how much I love this stuff.

I overall consume and create a lot of horror media. But I’m not immune to getting scared. In fact, I’m not above any kind of phobia or fear, I still get grossed out by particularly gory scenes. I have this weird love-hate relationship with fear.

I love to be scared.

I hate being paranoid.

So one of my “biggest fears” usually has to do with the unseen/unknown. I don’t mean ghosts and demons necessarily, but things you can’t see waiting on the other side of the door, whatever lurks in the dark, what may lie deep in the dark ocean waters. And it’s common to be scared of something like that. The fear of the unknown usually stems fears like the ocean, the dark, the woods, etc, etc.

But those are also the best kind of horror tropes. The monsters and killers that seem to be just beyond the light, just far enough from where they can’t seen. It can be cliche, but rarely gets old. It’s just always more hair raising and spooky than, ya know, something you can just predict. Predictable scares just ruins horror.

As a kid, I had a similar fear, but it was because of a wild imagination. I vaguely remember crying about the monsters under my bed that would eat me (I blame my dad for letting me watch those fake monster documentaries). But it sparked my interest in everything I love now. Regardless, fear is just a base root of why I like horror, but after years of desensitizing myself to a lot of things, I have slowly stopped reacting. Take that for what you will.