Blind Date (2)

His beloved was already walking before he could finish scribbling down the last of her morning routine. Much to his surprise, she was rushing off towards town. Well, he did love how determined she could be. Once she had her mind set on something, she would get it! He wished to take after her, or maybe even their kids, if she’d like any.

He was far behind her, at first. It was like a game to him. He started out slower than her, being leisurely at his pace. The closer they got to crowds, he would get closer. And closer. And closer, just enough to be on her heels. Usually, he’d take the time to admire her up close from behind. Gently touch her hair, maybe find a way to sneakily brush up against her. Skin to skin contact was ideal.

He was placed right behind her, using the crowd as cover to do as he pleased. Steady hands found their way to her hips, ghosting over what he claimed as his. He found the material of her jeans under his fingertips. Gingerly, with just enough to satiate his horrid cravings, he felt her hips. She didn’t pay him any mind. Eagerly he reached to her more, but she hurried across the street. Maybe he may get another chance?

She abruptly turned to the right and walked into the coffee shop not far from her house. Of course, she would chase the taste of fresh coffee. Something to jolt her awake from that pesky drowsiness. Almost like how he chased after her love. With slight trepidation, he stood behind her and waited for her to order.

Caramel iced coffee, whipped cream on top and with a chocolate drizzle. Not too complicated of an order, but he still prides himself in memorizing it. The price was always $5.12. He liked how routine she was… How predictable she was. It made it easy for him to follow along at his own leisure.

She never got anything bigger than a medium. Today, she bought a small caramel iced coffee. No drizzle, no whipped cream. He wondered if she was doing that to save money, or because she wanted to go on a diet.

Such a horrible thought! Her? On a diet? She’s perfect the way she is now!

For a moment, he entertained it. Were his notes not encouraging her enough? Was she growing insecure? She was easily the most perfect of all and she was worried about her looks?

It didn’t sit well with him. He saw her, sitting in that chair. Even while waiting for her coffee she looked angelic. Past that ethereal glamour, she looked nervous. His love was most definitely on edge- could she tell that her lover was near?

He wondered if she would want him to approach her. To ask about her day and call her pretty. He was lost in his thoughts that he allowed his stare to linger for too long. Their eyes met momentarily. Turbulent oceans brushed against clear skies. She couldn’t see through his gaze, yet he could see right into her heart; her soul.

“Sir.”

He turned back around and faced a less than enthused barista.

“What would you like to order?”

With a breathy apology, he ordered a plain black coffee. Anything to keep his mind from fading away back into heaven. Blue. Perfect blues with so many emotions swirling around. Delicious fear that filled his growing appetite for more. She would make him feel full once he had her. She would be his.

Once he had his coffee, he looked at her once more. In reality, she was probably intimidated by the man who kept staring at her dead in the eyes. He didn’t mind, as it was a pleasure to see her face turn with new emotions he never thought possible. She glanced at him again, averting their eyes each time they met. It was almost like a game of sorts.

He would catch her looking, and it would only inspire the obsessive adoration within him. It would stir like a vat of acid, bubbling and ever so caustic. The acid wanted to bubble over and consume anything it touched.

He imagined consuming her for what she was.

He never tried to fantasize about mingling their lives together. Sticking to his own life (which really was just being her living shadow) and letting her live unaware was ideal. And yet, she sat in the cafe with that small cup of coffee, looking at him with inviting eyes. He was reminded that some nights were lonelier than others, without her by his side.

Years spent in a cold room by himself, where he would dream of the day he could finally win his beloved’s heart. Maybe she would be forgiving for all he had done, and love him unconditionally. And he would share his darkest secrets with her like she will do for him. They would trust each other with their lives and never fear the world again. Memories of roaming this Earth with no companion stung in a sour way. His heart shriveled at the thought of never obtaining her.

He needed her to live.

“Is anyone sitting here?” He smiled shyly, barely holding down the frantic glee in his throat. He had all but ran to greet her. He couldn’t take the waiting anymore. If he couldn’t make her favor him now, then…

“Uh,” she glanced at the open seats around her, “no.”

He plopped down in the chair, and finally got a better look at his darling. She looked lively. He dreamed of being graced by her presence but… This was new territory. He had never once invited himself near her while she walked the world on the living. He shouldn’t be found out so easily. Yet, he couldn’t deny his love for her any longer. His heart craved her touch.

A still, awkward silence filled them, waiting to be broken by someone, anyone. He acknowledged the quiet whispers and keyboard taps going on around them, but there was no sweeter a sound that his beloved’s voice. She cleared her throat, and she finally spoke the first few… Real, words, she had ever said to him.

“You’re in my literature class, right?”

She noticed! By god, she recognized him, which meant she knew his face, and that she had shared thoughts about him before, and had committed his existence to memory! He never wanted anything more than to sweep her off her feet and place kisses on those perfect lips.

“Yes, with Mrs. Brightfield… Sorry to be so abrupt when I sat down. Hah, you seem like a cool person in class so… Though I would get to know you.” He hoped to seem genuine and laid back. She found charming guys very attractive, and he was just as charming as a prince! He’d prove it too.

“Oh no, you’re fine! I just wasn’t expecting anyone to actually wanna chat this early in the morning.”

And that’s where it hit off. She was enamored with him. He felt it. She was interested in his entire being, and wished to shared knowledge about his life. All in due time, he decided. But time was his worst enemy by this point. He was so ready to refuse his self control and steal her away from the world. She was too pretty to be seen, and the world would tarnish her perfect glow.

They talked for awhile, discussing school and life like two good friends. And they are good friends! She just didn’t quite know that yet. The way they spoke to one another felt like some sort of date. Like they set this us and they were trying to figure out how to ask for the other’s heart.

Her eyes filled with stars as she spoke of her life he was already well acquainted with. But, she mentioned something about… Having a hard time. How life had been rough for the past weeks and she didn’t feel like doing the work for their shared class. Or much of anything, for that matter.

“Sorry, I’m sure you don’t really wanna hear all that mushy, dumb stuff. College is just a bore, sometimes.”

A void took his mind. The only real mushy, dumb stuff was the liquid magma his brain became. She referred to her problems as dumb and it sent him spiraling into a frenzy. He questioned is inhibition, his approaches to make her feel loved. Why wasn’t any of it working? Why can’t she be happy for him for once?

Hard time? With what? What had he possibly missed? He leaned forward and tried to grasp at whatever she was telling him. His hands itched to write down what she was saying. And the fact she was even saying something like that to a stranger (a stranger to her, anyway). She entrusted him with such delicate information.

His darling finished her coffee soon after their chat begun. He was sad to see her depart, but they both had things to do. It wasn’t often he got to follow her around for a full night and morning. He indulged himself today, and chose to let her go on alone. His instincts screamed to follow after her, and maybe if he were more obsessive, he would have. There were plans he had to make, and ideas that were beginning to run rampant in his head.

“See you in class… dude.”

Her confession brought her life into a new light. She needed to be taken care of and coddled. She needed love and affection like no other. She needed to feel safe, like she would never be let go. Never hurt, or scared.

On his way out of the cafe, he threw away his nearly full cup. The swinging of the trash can flap rang out, reminding him of reality. A mental list of things he would need came to mind. But first, he had to head for home and make room for what he had planned.

Her words were eye opening, and her hidden worries were greater motivation. The Universe was telling him this was right, so he had to do it.

For her, for their love.

For himself.